


The Way Humans Do

by Caedmon



Series: An Ineffable Valentines [14]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Valentine’s Day, attempts at romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 15:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22718284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon
Summary: “Crowley,” Aziraphale started gently, feeling like he was treading on the verge of something momentous. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like he was vibrating. “Were you trying to ask me on adate?”Crowley’s face was even redder now, but he nodded. “Thought I’d do it the way the humans do.”For the valentine’s prompt: Be My Valentine
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: An Ineffable Valentines [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619491
Comments: 49
Kudos: 214
Collections: Ineffable Valentines 2020





	The Way Humans Do

Aziraphale had just settled himself into his favorite armchair with a lovely book when his mobile chirped, signaling an incoming message. He’d gotten the contraption under duress, at Crowley’s insistence, and he never used it except to communicate with his demon. Not that Crowley was his, of course, he amended within his own mind hurriedly. It was just that Crowley was the only person who had his number and used the mobile to contact him, so he knew the message must be from Crowley. 

He raised the phone and tapped the screen to see the message.

Crowley (4:32pm) - _hey angel. whatcha doing tomorrow night?_

Aziraphale smiled, then tapped out a response. 

Aziraphale (4:33pm) - _I don’t have any plans, really. I’ll probably just stay here at the shop. Why?_  
Crowley (4:33pm) - _can I take you to the ritz?_

Airaphale bit his lip on a smile. Oh, how he loved Crowley - even if he couldn’t say so. But tomorrow was Valentine’s Day, and restaurants would be an absolute nightmare. It was with regret that he answered:

Aziraphale (4:34pm) - _I’d love to under normal circumstances, but think it will be best to stay in tomorrow night. I’m sorry._  
Crowley (4:34pm) - _why?_  
Aziraphale (4:35pm) - _The Ritz is bound to be booked solid._  
Crowley (4:35pm) - _that’s no problem for us and you know it. pick you up at six?_

Aziraphale tutted, shaking his head at the screen. 

Aziraphale (4:36pm) - _I think I’d rather avoid the crowds tomorrow._  
Crowley (4:37pm) - _how about a movie? or a play?_  
Aziraphale (4:38pm) - _Those will be crowded as well, due to the holiday._

A minute passed before another message popped up. 

Crowley (4:39pm) - _how about a stroll in the park?_  
Aziraphale (4:39pm) - _A stroll in February?_  
Crowley (4:39pm) - _sure_

It wasn’t like Crowley not to take a hint. He could be persistent, yes, but usually knew when to back off. What was he playing at?

Aziraphale (4:40pm) - _It will be freezing. Let’s wait until April for that. Maybe late March._  
Crowley (4:41pm) - _surely there’s *something* you’d like to do? how about a museum?_

Aziraphale just stared at the mobile, perplexed and a little annoyed. He would _love_ to spend time with Crowley - really, he’d love nothing more - but really didn’t feel like doing so surrounded by loving couples on the one day of the year meant to celebrate romantic love. And with the object of his affections by his side, yet untouchable? No. It would be too painful a reminder of what he couldn’t have. 

But he couldn’t _say_ that. He could never admit to such a thing. Demons couldn’t love, everyone knew that. His relationship with Crowley was as close as it could possibly be, given that fact. 

But he couldn’t say _that_ , either. 

Finally, he settled on:

Aziraphale (4:43pm) - _I think I’d prefer to stay home tomorrow. I don’t want to go out and deal with crowds of lovebirds._

There was no response, and he couldn’t help but wonder what had prompted this. The question wouldn’t leave him alone after a few minutes, so he asked. 

Aziraphale (4:46pm) - _Why is this so important to you?_

His answer, when it came, stung - and added to his frustration. 

Crowley (4:48pm) - _it’s not. I'll leave you alone._

Aziraphale huffed and typed up a quick response. 

Aziraphale (4:50pm) - _Obviously it matters to you, otherwise you wouldn’t have suggested ten things we could do together._  
Crowley (4:51pm) - _it wasn’t ten things_  
Aziraphale (4:51pm) - _You know what I mean, Crowley. Don’t be pedantic._  
Crowley (4:53pm) - _sorry for pestering you. I’ll leave you alone_

Aziraphale was hopping mad now, his brows furrowed in consternation. That frustrating, insufferable demon!

Aziraphale (4:55pm) - _I didn’t say to leave me alone, I simply said I didn’t want to go out tomorrow, and you’re being difficult._

Three full minutes ticked by and there was no response, even though he saw that Crowley had read the message. The more time passed, the more angry he got, until he typed out another message, furious. 

Aziraphale (4:59pm) - _Don’t you dare ignore me. Come back!_

No response. Two minutes passed. 

Aziraphale (5:01pm) - _You’re being insufferable._

No response. Another two minutes passed. 

Aziraphale (5:03pm) - _Answer me right now or so help me…_

Still no response. 

Aziraphale growled in frustration and slammed his mobile down on the table beside him, getting to his feet. Oh, he was so _angry._ How dare that demon get huffy over nothing, then disappear? Aziraphale had half a good mind to march right over to Mayfair and give him a piece of his mind. 

An idea occurred to him and he debated the merits of it for only a second before he nodded to himself and squared his shoulders. He’d only ever done this once before, but he was too angry to wait for more traditional methods. He needed to yell at Crowley _now_.

He closed his eyes and murmured an ancient incantation to summon a demon. There was a ripple of magic in the room, then he heard a squawk of indignation and opened his eyes. 

Crowley was standing there, looking shocked - and as if he’d been interrupted in the middle of a lazy day. His shoes and sunglasses were missing, as were his jacket and tie. He was much more dressed down than Aziraphale usually saw him, and the angel took a split second to appreciate seeing him that way before he remembered he was angry and scowled. 

“Angel, what the hell?” 

Aziraphale put his hands on his hips angrily. “You tell _me_ what the hell. Why were you ignoring me?”

Crowley wouldn’t meet his eyes. “The conversation was over.”

“It was not!”

“It was! I asked a question and got my answer. That was it.”

“Yet when I asked _you_ a question, you ran away!”

Crowley still wouldn’t look at him, and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t _run away_. It was a text message. You can’t _run away_ from a text.”

Aziraphale huffed. “You can ignore it, which is what you did.”

The demon muttered something.

“What was that?” Aziraphale demanded sharply. 

“I said, there was nothing more to say.”

He bristled again. “Yes, there was! I asked you a question, and I’d like an answer.”

“I gave you one.”

“I’d like the _truth_. Why was this so important to you?”

Crowley stared at his feet. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to _me_.”

The demon didn’t move, didn’t answer, just stood there with his yellow eyes downcast and his hands still in his pockets. Aziraphale was tempted to push him for an answer, but he knew Crowley better than that. If he just waited, Crowley would break the silence. 

It took three nearly unbearable minutes of Crowley steadfastly looking at the ground and Aziraphale steadfastly looking at _him_ before he cracked and mumbled something. 

“I didn’t catch that.”

Crowley still didn’t look up. “I said, it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.”

Aziraphale waited, but no more was forthcoming. “Yes? And?”

His cheeks and ears were flaming like anything, as red as his hair. “And… I thought we could… you know… do something. Together.”

“On _Valentine’s Day_?”

Crowley nodded, still looking at the floor. “Yeah.”

Aziraphale was stunned. _Friends_ didn’t do things together on Valentine’s Day, _couples_ did. Crowley had been on this earth for six thousand years. Surely he knew that?

“What - why did you want to do something on Valentine’s Day, of all occasions?”

Crowley shrugged. “Thought you might like it.”

Aziraphale’s mind spun. “What did you have planned?”

The demon scuffed his shoeless foot. “I thought, you know, I’d come pick you up and take you to dinner. Somewhere nice. Maybe… maybe bring you flowers. Or a box of chocolates.”

He was stunned. Absolutely stunned. What Crowley was saying didn’t make sense, if demons couldn’t love. Had he been wrong all these years?

“Crowley,” Aziraphale started gently, feeling like he was treading on the verge of something momentous. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like he was vibrating. “Were you trying to ask me on a _date_?”

Crowley’s face was even redder now, but he nodded. “Thought I’d do it the way the humans do.”

Aziraphale could have been knocked over with a feather. He was absolutely shocked - and delighted. In six thousand years, he’d never been so surprised. Crowley had tried to ask him on a _date_! On Valentine’s Day! His face split into a wide smile and joy flooded his entire body. Oh, this was _wonderful_.

Crowley was still staring at the ground, looking like he was poised to run. Aziraphale felt his heart swell with love. Oh, his poor, precious demon.

“Crowley?” he said softly. “Will you look at me?”

The demon shook his head in a quick, jerky movement and, well, that wouldn’t do. Aziraphale stepped over to him and tipped up his chin, until Crowley’s golden eyes met his. Crowley looked miserable, but Aziraphale smiled gently and dropped his hand. 

“Ask me again, dear.”

Crowley blinked, obviously surprised. “You want me to…?”

“Ask me again.”

Something flickered in Crowley’s eyes and his expression lightened, the corner of his mouth turning up. He cleared his throat and spoke.

“Aziraphale, angel, would you like to go out on a date with me tomorrow night for Valentine’s Day?”

“No.”

Crowley’s eyes widened and his face fell. He was the absolute picture of disappointment, and Aziraphale smiled reassuringly, reaching out to touch his cheek. 

“I wouldn’t like to go _out_ tomorrow night, but I should very much like to stay in. Here. You and I spending the evening together. On a date.”

A broad smile took over Crowley’s face. “Yeah?”

“Yes. On one condition.”

Crowley looked as if he could fly, and Aziraphale’s heart sang. “Anything. Name it.”

“I expect to be kissed goodnight at the end of our date.”

Crowley’s smile turned mischievous. “Is there any reason to wait until the end of our date, or can I kiss you now?”

Aziraphale returned his smile, his eyes twinkling. “Well, it depends. The kiss at the end of a first date is a very big deal to humans, and if you want to do it the human way, you’ll be wanting to get it perfect.”

“I should probably practice,” Crowley supplied, his smile lopsided. 

The angel felt his heart trill in his chest. “Yes. You probably should.”

Crowley took a step towards Aziraphale, closing the small gap, and Aziraphale swallowed nervously. They’d never been this close before, not in all the time they’d known each other, and it was utterly intoxicating. He felt drunk, he felt high, but most of all, he felt like he was in love. 

Long fingers tentatively reached out and tangled lightly with his. This close, he could _smell_ Crowley, smoke and musk and spice - and every breath made him feel even higher. Then Crowley’s hand came up to cup his cheek and Aziraphale nearly discorporated. 

“Angel?” he whispered.

“Yes, Crowley?”

“Be my valentine?”

“I’d love nothing more, my dear.”

Then Crowley’s lips pressed against his in the softest, sweetest kiss, and Aziraphale was no longer able to think.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you’ve enjoyed my Valentine’s series as much as I’ve enjoyed writing and sharing them. Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and support!
> 
> Happy Valentine’s Day!


End file.
